Dr. Tara Egan

The College Scoops Podcast

Episode 96: How To Get Your Teen To Talk

November 2, 2021

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As parents, getting our teens to talk to us can be challenging especially during the high school years. At times, it may seem like your son or daughter talks to everyone BUT you. Building a healthy relationship with your kids takes time, energy and patience. It is also a two-way street. We have to be open to listening even when it may be inconvenient for us. Dr. Tara Egan joins us today to share strategies on how parents and families can build healthy relationships by focusing on developing strong communication skills.

Key Takeaways:

  • Be mindful of your own baggage that you are bringing into the conversation 
  • Parents are not their kid’s friends
    • There are some things that you share with your children, there are some things you don’t. Same thing goes for the children.
  • When you have conversations with your kids, make sure that it is a two way conversation! This helps build empathy.
  • Make an effort to go into your children’s space, really relaxed with no agenda (and try not to be critical!). This can help encourage your kids to talk. 
  • Normalize being in their space 
    • Be careful of when you start doing it (it may be harder with teens)
  • Be patient 
  • Keep in mind: each child is different. You have to figure out what works for them. 
  • Think about Word Count!
    • Aka, how much you are able to process and be present in a conversation. 
    • It is different for each person. 
  • Ground Rules are important.
  • For technology, it is important to remember about balance. 
    • It may not always be the hours spent on technology, it also depends on other things they have been doing during the day.
  • Everyone can have a tantrum. During this time, someone may not be in the right frame of mind to reason with. 
    • Try to step away early during hot moments
    • Don’t follow your kid around to try and justify your decisions
    • Do not keep piling on consequences! It is like kicking someone while they are down 
    •  Usually you can trust your gut
  • Make sure you follow through on your punishment 
  • Focus on the joys of having your kid around, don’t just focus on what they mess up on (or if their room is messy) 
  • Model the behaviors you want your kids to have
  • Be able to laugh. Having a sense of humor is so important. This does not mean picking on your kids or being funny at the expense of someone else. 
  • When looking for colleges, use your resources to make sure you know what is out there.

Important Resources and Links:

“One Day You’ll Thank Me”

Charlotte Parenting Coaching

Meet Dr. Tara Egan

Charlotte Parenting Coach

Dr. Egan holds a doctorate in school psychology and has specialized training in counseling and family-school relations. She has worked in public schools, private schools, mental health centers, and as an adjunct college professor. She established Charlotte Parent Coaching, LLC in 2011. Dr. Egan is also the author of three books; Better Behavior for Ages 2-10 (Lesson Ladder, 2013), Adolescence: A Parent’s Guide (Rockridge Press, 2020), and The First-Time Mom’s Toddler Discipline Handbook: Practical Advice and Go-To Strategies for Parenting with Confidence (Rockridge Press, 2021) and she co-hosts her own parenting podcast called “One Day You’ll Thank Me” with her teenage daughter, Anna.

Thank you to Tara for joining us today to share how we as parents can be better communicators with our kids. Parenting is not easy yet it is one of the most rewarding jobs. It requires a lot of work and communication is a key role in building healthy, strong relationships with your kids at every stage of their lives. Being present, patient, non-judgmental, and open is crucial. Normalize being in their space and remember, life is short, enjoy these moments as before you know it, your child will be off on their own.

Episode 96 Full Transcript

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College Scoops has a team of college interns who share their insights and expertise with our community. Our team consists of editors, writers, videographers, social media experts, and storytellers who work hard to produce relevant and interesting content for students (and parents) whether they are applying to, attending or graduating from college.

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